Saturday, January 1, 2011

Another night. No sleep in sight.

Like the title states. Another night with no sleep in sight. I yawn, my eyes water, and I feel tired. Yet, my mind and body won't relax and let me sleep. My Pop doesn't understand. He never had my problems sleeping until my grandmother was ill. He suggests meditation and prayer. It seems to only happen the most when I have my monthly visitor. *shrug*

Other than that things are okay. I am mildly depressed. I know I am because I don't feel like bathing or cleaning. When I am depressed those things don't get done as often. I am going to force myself to shower and do dishes tomorrow. Maybe it will break me out of my funk. I don't know.

I have been watching the show "Monk". I am on the second season though I will soon be on the third. I like the show and can relate to the main character. Not because of his illnesses but because of the way he feels like an outcast of the world. The way he views the world is different and so it makes him strange to others. I think this is also what draws me to "Bones" as well. I love the fact that both shows make you think but at the same time both lead characters are outcasts in the world they live in because of how they see things.

I have been thinking of becoming a graphic designer. It is an artistic job that could end up being good for me. I'll have to look into it some more and talk to the guidance councilor at CRC. Maybe they have one of those career test things. Those are usually a good jump off point. I used to want to be a writer but the creative well has run dry. I would start stories but never finish them.

Any way, I am going to end this and try to get to sleep. Maybe if I day dream a little bit about something impossible and fictitious my mind will slow down.

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